There are moments in life that don’t just happen, they stay. They settle into you quietly, and over time, you begin to realize they shaped more than just that day, they shaped who you became after it.

Recording Scott DeLuzio’s story for Change Happened, Then What? brought me back to one of those moments in my own life.

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The Night Everything Shifted

Years ago, I was stationed in Okinawa.

My ex-husband was a crew chief in the Air Force, and we were living a life that, in many ways, revolved around service, structure, and uncertainty. It was the same day we found out we were expecting our second child.

That night, we were getting ready for bed, it was quiet. Ordinary.

Until it wasn’t, we got the call and in that moment, something shifted. It’s hard to explain exactly what changed but I remember the feeling, the weight of it, the awareness that life could turn in an instant.

Looking back now, I can see that moment didn’t just belong to that night, it followed me into the years that came after.

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Coming Home… But Not Unchanged

When I returned to Vermont in 2003, after my only brother had died, eventually life moved forward in the way it does.

Days turned into years. Seven years later, in 2010, I remember something that brought all of those feelings rushing back, I remember when DeLuzio and Southworth were brought home to Vermont.

I remember the stillness.

The sorrow, the way it felt like our entire state paused to take a breath together. Vermont is small. And when something like that happens… it doesn’t feel far away, it feels personal.

I remember feeling an overwhelming sadness—not just for their families, but for our state… for what had been lost… and for what had been given.

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The Kind of Grief That Stays With You

Scott’s story is about losing his brother in the line of duty in Afghanistan, it’s about that moment, the one where everything changes.

But it’s also about what comes after, and while my own experience of losing a sibling came under very different circumstances, I understand something about that kind of loss. The kind that doesn’t leave. The kind that reshapes your future in ways you never saw coming, 5he kind that shows up in quiet moments, years later, when you least expect it.

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What Scott’s Story Reminded Me

Listening to Scott, what stayed with me most wasn’t just the loss.

It was what he chose to do after because healing, isn’t something that just happens to you. It’s something you choose. Over and over again, and Scott made that choice.

Through therapy, reflection and through doing the hard work of facing what hurt. And then, he did something even more powerful, he turned that pain into purpose.

Through his Drive On Podcast and his book Surviving Son, he’s helping other veterans and service members navigate PTSD, grief, and life after the military.

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What Stays

There are moments in life that shape us, moments we don’t choose, moments we don’t fully understand until years later. Scott’s story is one of those moments.

And for me, it connected threads I didn’t even realize were still there.

From Okinawa
to Vermont
to now.

It reminded me that grief doesn’t always ask for permission to stay But healing, well, that is something we choose

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Change Happened… Then What?

That’s the question and for Scott, the answer became this:

Keep going.
Keep healing.
And help others do the same.

Healing with you,

Heather