Welcome back to Change Happened, Then What?—the podcast where stories of heartbreak become stories of healing. This week’s episode hits especially close to home. It features someone I used to call family and will always call a friend—Sandie.
We met through a past marriage, but our connection outlasted the relationship. Over the years, Sandie has been a quiet presence in my life—the kind of friend who shows up with one of those big hugs that make everything feel okay. She’s steady, kind, and fiercely private. So when she agreed to share her story—not for herself, but for anyone who might need it—I was deeply moved. This is a story I’ve carried in my heart for a long time, and I feel truly honored to share it now.
🌺 When Aloha Meets Goodbye
Sandie’s journey began years ago with Brian, a friend from high school. Their paths crossed again later in life, and that reconnection bloomed into something beautiful. Brian had an Aloha spirit—a warmth and openness that made you feel instantly welcome. He lit up every room and treated everyone like family.
But then, everything changed. Brian developed autoimmune encephalitis, a rare and devastating brain condition that stripped away pieces of the man he once was—his memory, his personality, even his signature smile. Watching him slip away while still standing beside him took a toll Sandie never expected but faced with incredible grace.
🧠 What Is Autoimmune Encephalitis?
Autoimmune encephalitis happens when the immune system mistakenly attacks the brain, causing inflammation. The symptoms can be severe—confusion, seizures, personality changes, and memory loss. It’s often misunderstood and misdiagnosed. You can learn more from Encephalitis International, Verywell Health, or BIAUSA.
💪 What Sandie Carried
Sandie became a full-time caregiver, all while raising three teenage daughters and holding down a job. During the pandemic, she faced her own breast cancer diagnosis. Her days blurred into caregiving, grieving, and holding her family together. When Brian’s condition worsened, she made one of the hardest decisions of her life—placing him in long-term care so he could receive the 24/7 support he needed.
That decision came from love. The kind that chooses dignity, even when it breaks your heart.
✨ What Keeps Her Smiling
What inspires me most about Sandie is her quiet resilience. She still shows up—for her family, her friends, and her community. She still works at the same bank where she and Brian used to greet people with a smile. She’s found love again, with someone who honors her past and helps her write a new chapter.
When I asked what keeps her smiling today, she didn’t hesitate: connection and love.
She continues to choose light, even after walking through so much darkness.
🎙 Listen to Episode 10
Where Aloha Meets Goodbye: Sandie’s Story
Available now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, or wherever you get your podcasts.
📲 Follow the journey: @changehappenedpodcast
🧡 Final Thoughts
This episode is more than a conversation—it’s a tribute. To Sandie, for her courage and honesty. To Brian, whose light touched so many. And to anyone who’s ever carried the weight of caregiving while quietly falling apart.
If you’re in the thick of grief or caretaking right now, please listen. You don’t have to carry it alone.
I’m so grateful Sandie trusted me with her story. It takes incredible strength to speak pain aloud—especially when you’re used to being the one holding everyone else together.
Her story reminds us that healing isn’t always neat or complete. Sometimes it looks like choosing joy again and again, even when the shape of love has changed.
