Ila’s Moon: A Story of Love, Loss, and the Power of Acceptance
There are friendships that come into our lives quietly… and end up changing everything.
Nineteen years ago, I walked into a bank expecting a routine transaction. Instead, I met a woman who would become one of my dearest friends, greatest cheerleaders, and most remarkable teachers—Jeannie Lynch.
At the time, I was deep in my own grief after losing my brother. Jeannie, I would soon learn, had experienced a heartbreak no parent should ever know: the sudden loss of her 8-year-old daughter, Ila, in a tragic car accident.
Through shared sorrow, we found connection. And over the past two decades, Jeannie has shown me what it looks like to live with grace and purpose, even in the face of unimaginable pain.
So when I decided to launch Change Happened, Then What?, I knew Jeannie had to be my first guest. She’s not only been a supporter of my storytelling dreams from the very beginning, but her own journey is one of the most powerful stories I’ve ever had the honor of witnessing.
Redefining Grief
Merriam-Webster defines grief as “a deep sorrow, especially caused by someone’s death.” But Jeannie redefined it for me.
Her definition?
Acceptance. ✮
“When we step into true acceptance of our grief,” Jeannie says, “we begin to heal.” She’s learned that grief doesn’t always look the same—some days it’s loud, other days it’s quiet. And sometimes, it’s found in what she calls “the space between the years”—those unexpected moments that bring the past rushing back in.
In the raw days after Ila’s death, Jeannie describes grief as a fog so heavy she didn’t know if her clothes were on backward, or whether she’d fed the dog, locked the door, or how she got from one place to the next. There were no guidebooks. No road maps. Just breath… by breath… by breath.
And then, one night, she felt something. A nudge. A message. A miracle. (You’ll need to listen to the full episode to hear that part—trust me, you’ll feel it too.)
From Grief to Grace
Jeannie doesn’t say she grieves anymore. Not in the way she used to. That doesn’t mean the pain ever fully disappears—but she’s found ways to carry it with beauty. And most importantly, she’s found a way to let Ila’s spirit continue to shine through her.
As a mother, Jeannie turned her heartbreak into a mission of healing—not only for herself, but for others navigating loss. Her strength has rippled outward into her family, her friendships, and now, into your ears and heart through this conversation.
A Reminder for Us All
When I asked Jeannie what keeps her smiling every day, her answer was simple and beautiful—just like so many of her teachings.
Her journey reminds us:
💛 That we don’t have to carry grief alone.
💛 That healing isn’t linear.
💛 That love doesn’t end when life does.
💛 And that sharing our stories can bring light into someone else’s darkest hour.
A Note from Me
Jeannie, if you’re reading this: I love you. Thank you for trusting me with your story. Thank you for helping me share mine. And thank you for teaching me that even when life changes everything, there’s still a way forward.
🕊️ If you’ve experienced loss, or you’re in the midst of navigating change, I hope this episode brings you comfort.
You can listen to Episode 1: Ila’s Moon on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen.
Let’s keep sharing the hard stuff, the healing stuff, the real stuff—together.
—Heather Holt, Host of Change Happened, Then What?
Jeannie’s Book – Caged No More