The Quiet Power of Learning to Hear Someone Differently
A High School Memory That Lasted a Lifetime
We met in high school—me, the band geek turned drum major; her, a younger girl with a spark I didn’t fully appreciate back then.
Years later, Jen confessed she thought I had it all together. Funny how we carry those illusions—when the truth was, I was just trying to hold it together too.
Navigating Life with ADHD: A Mother’s Story
Long before adulthood, Jen was already navigating a world that didn’t make room for how her brain worked. Diagnosed with ADD as a child and later re-diagnosed with ADHD in high school, she spent years decoding herself within a system built for someone else.
But here’s the truth: she didn’t just survive—she thrived.
- 🔹 Fast.
- 🔹 Frank.
- 🔹 Fierce.
Some called her intense. Others labeled her impulsive. Her father sometimes chalked it up to “poor choices”. But what if it wasn’t poor choices?
What if it was simply a misunderstood rhythm?
Living with ADHD as a Woman, Mother & Professional
In our conversation, Jen opened up about the daily reality of ADHD—especially in roles as a mother, caregiver, and professional. She described:
- The constant self-correction
- The fear of saying the wrong thing
- The exhaustion of proving she belongs
These aren’t signs of laziness or carelessness—they’re signs of survival. In a world that values quiet focus, Jen’s brilliance blazes like wildfire.
For more insights on women living with ADHD, see CHADD’s resource page or ADDitude Magazine’s mental health support.
Grief & Growth: The Loss of a Father
Amid this delicate balance, Jen faced profound loss. Her dad—once her emotional compass—passed from throat cancer after years of smoking.
It was a loss without closure, a grief wrapped in memory and the cost of parenting others before healing herself.
She spoke of her mother’s quiet strength, her role raising her son, and how even small moments of laughter and human connection offer solace on the heaviest days.
A Powerful Insight: “Penance is sacrifice”
When asked what message she’d leave with listeners, Jen didn’t hesitate:
“Penance is sacrifice.”
This wasn’t a throwaway phrase nor a tidy regret—it was truth. Real change asks us to sacrifice comfort, illusions, and the versions of ourselves we once thought necessary.
Finding Clarity in the Mess
Maybe the world sees chaos—and maybe you do too.
But what if that mess…
is actually a woman becoming who she was always meant to be?
🧭 A Quiet Call to Listen
In today’s fast-paced world, learning to truly hear someone different—to embrace their rhythms, their stories, their struggles—requires quiet courage.
It’s in these spaces that transformation happens.
If Jen’s story moved you, I’d be honored if you’d share this post, leave a comment, or subscribe to follow along each week.
With empathy,
Heather Holt
Host of Change Happened, Then What?